07 Sep How Do Spiritual Attachments Make Us Suffer?
You’ve probably heard the famous phrase “attachment is the root of all suffering” – but what does it mean and is it true? Of course, many of the emotional and spiritual attachments in our lives bring us joy, but that doesn’t mean they can’t also bring negative emotions and hinder our growth.
Let’s take a look at the ways in which attachments lead to suffering and what we can do about it.
How Do Attachments Make Us Suffer?
There are a handful of attachments that we all have – and we all need – including attachments to the people that we love, spiritual practices, to ideas and ideals, as well as personal goals, material objects, and routines that help us to get through the day.
However, when we get attached to people who do us harm, or things, goals, and ideals that no longer serve us or have a negative impact on us, suffering arises. We can also suffer when we get overly attached to things and allow those bonds to overtake our own needs.
Who said attachment leads to suffering originally?
The famous phrase attachment is the root of suffering comes from Buddha, who taught that when you get attached to something, it is because you don’t think you can be happy without it, and that searching for happiness outside of oneself is ultimately pointless and causes a never-ending cycle of discontentment.
It also creates a fear of loss, and can cause grief should that fear be actualized. Buddha also taught that change is the only constant in life, and so one shouldn’t fear loss, as it is vital to the cycle of life, and therefore spiritual growth.
9 Ways That Attachments Can Cause You To Suffer
Let’s take a look at nine of the most common ways that attachments can cause you to suffer.
1. Money & Material Objects
Attachments to money and material things like clothing and cars which do not add any real value to our lives can hinder our emotional and spiritual experience on Earth and take away from more meaningful physical experiences, such as physical touch with people we love and interacting with nature.
You should also consider why you’re so attached to these things – is there something lacking in another area of your life that you need to work on?
2. Caring More About The Idea Of Somebody Than Who They Really Are
It’s very easy to idealize somebody when you first meet them and dream them up in your head to be the perfect partner. However, allowing yourself to get attached to an idea of somebody not only stops you from getting to know and experience the real them, but it is also unfair to them and will more than likely lead to disappointment when they don’t live up to this ideal.
Instead, you should channel your excitement about new people into getting to know them and decide whether or not they’re right for you after doing so.
3. Needing A Certain Career Or Status
Professional goals are not a bad thing, especially when they’re related to your life purpose or soul mission. However, when you obsess over having a certain status or job title in order to achieve what you perceive as success or to be acclaimed by others, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons and it will only hurt you in the long run. Instead, you should try to consider what kind of work would add value to your life and make you feel fulfilled.
4. People You Know You Shouldn’t Want
We are all aware of the bad boy trope, or the forbidden desire for somebody who is already taken, or even to cheat on the person that we have committed to. However, these kinds of attachments are not only objectively unhealthy and reflective of issues with your self-esteem and personal life, but can harm others, bring down your vibration, and waste your precious time.
All of the time that you spend lusting after somebody that you know is wrong for you could be spent loving somebody who is right for you!
5. Beauty Ideals
This is an attachment that we can most probably all relate to in some way. We’re constantly bombarded with specific ideals of beauty, especially in regard to female beauty, and they’re almost always very narrow and shallow.
It’s very hard not to be taken in by it in some way and have it affect the way that we view ourselves or the way that we think we should look, but it’s a very unhealthy attachment and can become obsessive.
This type of attachment can cause extreme diet and exercise behaviors, eating disorders, self-harm, extreme depression, anxiety, and social anxiety, and it can even lead to suicide. So, it’s important to work through this attachment for your own safety and mental health by meditating on self-love, practicing self-care, abstaining from anything that is unhelpful, and seeking help if necessary, and as to not detract from bigger, more meaningful aspects of yourself and your life.
6. Beliefs That Do Not Serve You
No matter who you are or how old you are, you are most probably still affected in some way by beliefs that were instilled into you from a young age at home and at school. It can be hard to question these, and not all of them will need to be questioned, but if there are any that feel inherently negative or alienate you from other people, or even exclude people from your life, they’re not serving you and you need to re-evaluate them.
7. Ideas About The Perfect Life
It’s great to have plans and goals and to want to live your life in accordance with certain values, but it’s not healthy to get obsessed with a particular outcome of how your life should look, especially by different ages. This will only lead to a feeling of failure if everything is not quite right, or if you don’t achieve everything you want by a certain age.
In addition, constantly living in some kind of future dream world can rob you of the present moment and waste your time, making you miss out on important milestones, beautiful moments, and making memories with others, as well as opportunities to progress your life.
8. Luxurious Ideals
If you constantly find yourself dreaming of a big lottery win or fawn over the Kardashians’ walk-in wardrobes with all of that expensive, luxurious designer gear, in their gigantic mansions with swimming pools and everything you could ever want – stop!
It’s great to have dreams and goals, but being too attached to them to the point where your current life feels unbearable is a recipe for procrastination, wasted time, wasted potential, and misery. Instead, you should set aside time to work on your goals during the day, but limit your time spent thinking about it to that allotted time to prevent it from taking over your mind.
9. Your Assumptions
We all have our own beliefs, options, and assumptions, but being too attached to them can prevent you from exploring alternative points of view and expanding your mind.
Try to remember that assumptions aren’t facts and that there’s nothing to be feared from making mistakes and getting things wrong. In fact, making mistakes is the best way to learn important lessons in life.
Final Thoughts
Getting attached to things is only human nature, and whilst not all attachments may lead to suffering, even with some of those that do, the positives of the attachment outweigh the feelings of loss when your life changes.
However, some attachments are inherently negative or restricting when it comes to your spiritual journey in life, and as we become mindful of them, we should learn to practice acceptance and embrace change to lessen the blow of our attachments.
Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.